16 Mar

I was quite negative during the past weeks. I think I let my feeling of helplessness strangle me.

I must say I came to the UK with high expectation. The places where I went to before were not fully democratic, were not ‘free’. I wanted to taste what it was like to be ‘free’. That made me felt disappointed and hopeless when I saw that the system here – which I saw to be the model system – was not perfect. There are many positive things that people here enjoyed. People can say what they think without real danger of being thrown into jail or killed. It is also encouraging to see how the charity groups and the people in charity groups care so much about other people. It is encouraging when we know that change can be brought forward from this country. Also, I’ve met a lot of good people.

But, it is depressing when I thought about how small this force is, how much developing countries depend on developed countries and rich corporations, how much we have to follow the unfair rules of the game, how we – the poor ones – cannot really decide our own fate.  

And it is scary how I am becoming more and more sceptical (or cynical??). I have always been the happy one. I do not know how can I go home with these changed thoughts knowing so little change I can do – if I can spare sufficient time at all other than trying to survive in the competitive world and financially demanding environment.

But it is okay. Let’s take it when it comes. There is no point worrying.

I think it’s perhaps about perspective. Everyone of us is a dust in the universe, so small and helpless. But everyone’s life is actually important for someone else. So I reckon there is no point feeling down because of feeling powerless. I just have to keep looking forward and contribute a bit of positiveness from myself.

When there is a will, there is a way. 😀


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